The other day I commented on one of those “Child Cured by Autism” posts on Facebook. What on earth was I thinking? The sharks appeared.
Disbelievers and angry parents who HATE Autistic aduts with the “high functioning” / Asperger’slabel. These people can not stand to see us grouped in with their children.
Things get ugly fast and I remove myself from the toxicity.
I see them on Facebook and hide them from my news feed. Memes by Autism Moms talking about how difficult being a parent of an Autistic child is. I get it parenting an Autistic child is hard – but so is parenting a typical child.
My biggest issues with these posts that these parents make the children feel like a burden they focus on the problems these parents have and are negative. Why can’t we focus on the positive parts of this child?
Focusing on someone’s deficits and shortcomings and telling them that they are defective or broken is NEVER okay – especially for a developing child.
Telling the world of your child’s “faults” via the internet is cruel.
Eventually, when your child is old enough they may desire to start speaking for themselves. This is a personal choice and should be respected.
When and if the time is right, I hope they DO grow to self advocate – we need more Aspies sharing in this world.
Adults usedto talk for me when I was a child. I believed everything they said about me – that I was stupid, rude, strange.
My parents spoke for me, often inaccurately but I never corrected them. I have never been very good at explaining my inner workings out loud.
Children should never have to grow up feeling like they are not good enough the way they are.
Autism Awareness month happens every year, but we don’t need awareness we need acceptance. We need love and understanding.
Like a flower, when nurtured, Autistic children will grow and bloom. Please don’t pour poison on your flowers.
SEPTEMBER 22, 2016
Parenting approaches differ, but mostly, everything we consider “good parenting” fulfills two basic needs: It makes children feel safe, and it makes them feel loved. Parents and non-parents alike tend to scorn any parenting approach that doesn’t meet these goals. That is, unless the kids in question are autistic—in which case parents are too often encouraged to pursue approaches that traumatize and alienate their kids. I call these parents “Autism Warrior Parents,” and people caring for autistic children can learn a lot from their mistakes.