Jessica the reject

I call you friend!
I call you friend!

Jessica the reject

by Andrew Blair

Jessica , the reject, I found her on the garbage tip,
In a garbage bag, she smelled, did she,
I thought I’d found a skunk, I did.
At first I did not know t’was she,
Until I heard this whine..
My name is Jessica and I’m a reject!
Jessica, I said, now who are you?
And what is this tip to you? Said I.
It is my only home, said she, and I’ve been here so long.
A skunk, I am, a reject too,
I stink and no one wants me, they don’t!
My name is Jessica and I need love.
A reject cannot need love, I said, because even love rejects.
Love rejects the painful one, the one who will not
Suffer love to love and let it be.
Jessica, I said, I can love you even if on this tip you stay.
Yet all my love is wasted until you can love you!
But I/m a reject, she said, how can I love garbage.
So on this tip I’ll stay, she said, until the World loves me!
The World might love you, the sun might caress you,
Even the Moon, in gentle femaleness might kiss your face.
Yet until you love yourself, accept you as you are ,
Then even all of this will bind you as a miasma,
Of mist within your self rejected Self.
Come down from there! You Skunk, you dirty reject you.
Claim the love that self respect will give.
Walk tall upon this Earth.
Jessica Elizabeth Blair!
I call you woman,
I call you friend.
(C) 1998

Various Tales

On the rocks at maroubra Beach
On the rocks at maroubra Beach

A Sunday Drive

Although I saw it with my own eyes I still can’t believe it really happened.
One weekend, I went 4–wheel driving with friends.
When the vehicle in front of me was going down a steep creek bank, it stood on its bull bar.
The rear wheels hit a hump that caused the vehicle to bounce on its end.
It stood there teetering for over twenty seconds, then fell back onto its wheels.
The young woman driver was going too fast as she went over the bank but luck was on her side this time.

A Tail of a dog.
Sometimes it wags
Sometimes it droops
Sometimes it is up
Sometimes it is down
But, if you should grab it
Beware, there may be a dog on the other end.
The Flight
One Easter, I went to my sister’s place at Taree for a holiday. I took the kids for a joy flight in a four seater plane which we flew from Taree to Foster and back again. The pilot and I had plenty of room in the front although there were five kids in the back seat. When we flew over Taree, I pointed out my sister’s house and land marks around town. We went along the coast looking at beaches and cliffs and flew over the oyster beds and lakes at Foster and Tuncurry. Then we headed back north along the coast when the pilot took the plane down low and skimmed a beach the kids started to panic and kept asking to go higher. Our pilot flew along the Manning River to Taree and the airport, after we landed the kids were still excited and still talk about the flight even today.


Around and around it goes  around all day and around all night. Well mate around me moneys always tight They say moneys made round to go round Although were it goes nobody found.
Do You Remember?
Author Unknown

Be sure to love someone while you can remember The day I borrowed your brand-new car and I dented it? I thought you’d kill me, but you didn’t.

And remember when I dragged you to the beach, You said it would rain, and it did? I thought you’d say, “I told you so.” But you didn’t.
Do you remember the time I flirted with guys Just to make you jealous and you were? I thought you’d leave me, but you didn’t.

Do you remember the time I spilled strawberry pie all over your car rug? I thought you’d smack me, but you didn’t.

And remember the time I forgot to tell you the dance was formal, and you showed up in jeans? I thought you’d drop me, but you didn’t.

Yes, there were lots of things you didn’t do. But you put up with me, and you loved me, and you protected me. There were lots of things I wanted to make up to you When you returned from the war. But you didn’t.

Easy Slidden.

You pull my handle I won’t budge. So you pull harder but I stick tighter. Then with both hands you heave and then on your back you go with me on top. Oh it’s fun being a drawer.
If only feet had noses.

I am overworked, neglected, mistreated and abused.
Over heated and overloaded I am shoved into any old boot
Anywhere to keep the smell in.
Eventually I must be taken out, then revenge is mine.
Signed, the foot


One Christmas we went to the Snowies it was just after the Newcastle earthquake. We camped at the diggings near Jindabyne. one night whilst I was asleep in my van and was dreaming pleasant dreams I was violently awakened by my van rocking from side to side, up, down, and end-to-end all at the same time. Earthquake! I thought to myself. I was in a state of panic whilst pulling on my boots before jumping out of the van, to escape to safety I was terrified. Then I collided with a big wombat that came running out from under my van, “Bloody wombat!” I yelled. The earthquake was only a wombat, scratching its back under my van. The other people camping with me came running out of their tents to see what was wrong and then we all had a good laugh. The next morning they were still laughing at me and my wombat. When we were leaving camp someone had a flat battery so I had to give them a jump-start oh, it is good to have an auxiliary battery system; well I had the last laugh didn’t I.

by Jessica Blair     go back to Various Tales for more of my stories

A Gentle Zephyr

One trip we went on we camped at Lake Keepit near Tamworth N/S/W.
One night just after midnight, a not so gentle zephyr started to blow from the West.
I was fast asleep in my van when I was awoken by Kevin who was in a state of panic that the wind would blow his tent down.
Kevin was running around saying, “The wind is going to blow my tent down.
Look, at that tent over there. It just blew down.”
This went on all night keeping every one awake.
The next morning, after the storm, although his was the only tent still standing, he was not happy.

Jessica Blair.

A Dog called sex

A dog called sex
A dog called sex

Usually anyone who owns a dog calls his dog something like Rover, Spot or Rex. Well called mine Sex.

Well, Sex can be a very embarrassing name as you will see.

Please let me share some adventures with you.

One day when I took Sex for a walk he ran away from me.

I spent hours looking for that dog. A police officer came along and asked me what I was doing in an alley at 4 am in the morning. I said, “I’m looking for Sex.” My case comes up next Tuesday.

When I went to the Town Hall to get a dog License, for Sex the Clerk asked me what I wanted so I told him a license for Sex and he said he would like to have one too. When I said, “but this is a dog” he said he did not care what she looked like. I said. “You don’t understand, I’ve had Sex since I was 2 years old.” He replied, “You must have been a strong boy!”

When I decided to get married I told the minister that we wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me we would have to wait until after the ceremony. I said.

“But Sex has played a big part in my life, and my whole life revolves around Sex.” He said “he did not want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church.” I told him everyone coming to the wedding, would enjoy having Sex there.

The next day a justice of the peace married us and my family is now barred from the Church.

My wife and I took the dog along with us on our Honeymoon. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. The clerk said that every room in this hotel is for sex. So I said, “You don’t understand, Sex keeps me awake at night.”

The clerk said me too.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said “Your honour, I had Sex before I was married” and the judge said “me too.” When I told him that after I was married, Sex had left me he said “me too.”

Well now I have been thrown in jail, married, divorced and have had more damn troubles than I ever bargained for with that damn dog. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the Psychiatrist. She asked me “what seems to be the trouble”? I replied, “well Sex has died and left my life and it’s like losing a best friend and it’s so lonely.” The doctor looked at me and said. “Mister you and I both know that Sex isn’t a man’s best friend so get yourself a DOG.”


Our Wedding & Honeymoon

  Our Wedding

Our honeymoon


Our wedding

Andrew & Jessica Blair –  In the eyes of God…

In the botanic Gardens
Taken in 2003

We met

We met in September 0f 1998, when we went to a dance together, Andrew was my partner, I needed someone to to help get me there. Our second date was at a New Year’s Eve party.

Our courtship

We started courting and the courtship was very shaky at first, as time went on things improved.

We became engaged on July 15 1999. This was the day that Andrew got his divorce to celebrate our engagement we began wearing identical Elephant rings on our ring fingers – elephants never forget!

Commitment Ceremony 21/08/1999

We had a commitment ceremony at the Wayside chapel, in Potts Point, on the 21st of August and celebrated afterwards at St. Canice’s Kitchen.


Our first honeymoon – well we did have two!

Our honeymoon was at Lawson with the Good Samaritan nuns where we had a very peaceful time visiting the surrounding country and towns



We invited our friends to share in the joy as we took our marriage vows and about 50 of 60 of our friends attended the service and most attended the reception afterwards.

Nearly everyone who joined us for our celebration brought a plate (of food) for the reception so we had a very well catered and enjoyable reception afterwards.


In St. Canice's kitchen
In St. Canice’s kitchen

The Celebrant

Bishop Ronald Langham
Signing the Register

The Celebrant: was The RT Rev Ronald Langham Bishop Primus, of the Ecumenical Catholic Church of Australia.

The Celebration was at 4pm on Saturday, the 31/05/ 2003.

At the Pro-cathedral of St John the Beloved.

(In the Unitarian church building).

15 Francis Street Sydney.

On Saturday 31 May 2003, our hopes become reality, when The Rt Rev Ronald Langham Bishop Primus, of the Ecumenical Catholic Church of Australia, in the Pro-cathedral of St John the Beloved, married us in the eyes of God and our government.

Before God and before Country

Updated on 22/01/2014

Our Honeymoon

On Sunday 31/05/2003, we went by XPT to Dubbo and Coach up to Lightning Ridge13 hours.

The entire trip was an all expenses payed wedding gift for our honeymoon and we stayed at the Lightning Ridge Hotel/Motel.

On Monday, we went on the Black Opal Tour all around and also under Lightning Ridge donned a hard hat and went down the Walk in Mine.

On Tuesday, we went down the Big Opal mine 113 steps down a spiral stair case for a guided walk around the workings then yes, 113 steps back up puff! puff!

In the afternoon, we just walked around Lightning Ridge looking in shops and talking to people.

Coming home we caught a Coach from Lightning Ridge down to Dubbo and then the  XPT  back to Sydney the trip only taking 13 ½ hours.

A Very Old Bus.


The Bus Accident

One morning I was picking mushrooms for my Grandfather so I was last getting on the bus. The driver never stopped for us to get on but slowed to a crawl so that we could jump on.  The bus was an old crate and so the driver couldn’t stop for fear it wouldn’t start again, or that he would be late for the next pick-up anyway -At this time  the road had just been graded so there was a hump at the side of the road and  I was running onto the hump to make my leap onto the bus but lost my footing and fell underneath the bus.

The driver stopped but the dual wheels at the back had already ran over my legs, the thing that I member is that the bus had left tyre marks on my legs my legs hurt  and at the age of 6 years old I thought that if the tyre marks were removed the pain would go.

The bus driver put me into the bus and drove me into the village where my grandfather did first aid, then the local police sergeant drove me towards the hospital and met the ambulance halfway to town.

My next memory is in Royal Prince Alfred Hospital in Sydney. Most of what happened after the bus run over me was told to me much later.

I was in Sydney for 18 to 29 months  and after I was released from hospital I stayed with my aunt and uncle in St Peters; my aunt and I travelled to and from out-patients by taxi  the bills were paid by the Far West Scheme,

After I started recovering I went to Camdenville Public School Newtown NSW where the staff used to carry me up to my classroom in a fireman’s carry.

With all the trips to out-patients I missed lots of school and my education suffered very much but later in life I attended TAFE to improve my education

I had leg irons on both legs from the bottom of my feet to my hips, even so I was able to travel home for Christmas by train it was a interesting trip by today’s standards:- My aunt tied a label around my neck with delivery instructions, well the trip home went like this, I took a  train from St Peters to Central then from Central to Lithgow, then from Lithgow to Bathurst, then from Bathurst to Blayney, then from Blayney to Cowra, then from Cowra to Koorawatha, then from Koorawatha to Uppingham and was met by hose and sulky for the last leg home in time for Christmas, The trip back to Sydney worked in the reverse.

I did two trips like this but the second time I stayed Home, my leg irons were removed a few months later.    

The Train Crash

The overgrown track of the disused line.

The train crash

We had to travel to school by goods train from the siding near our farm into town; the trip into town by train sometimes was very fast taking only a few minutes, however when the wheat harvesting was on, sometimes the train was overloaded and with the extra load the old steam engine had a hard time slowing going down the hills.

Before the train left the Uppingham siding , to go down to Greenethorpe, it had to be taken down in two or three sections as the grade was very steep. Even in sections the train sometimes had problems slowing down for the bend at the bottom of the grade.

In 1956 the train left the tracks at the bottom bend they say it was doing 90 M.P.H. when it crashed. I remember thinking “ why was the grass growing into the window” – the carriage was upturned and the windows on the other side so high up that we couldn’t get out.

When some local farm hands and other passengers pulled us out of the train the carriage we were in was on fire. The other carriages were scattered everywhere with two carriages standing on their ends forming an A shape and the locomotive was on its side with steam and thick black smoke belching from it.

The trestle was destroyed in the crash so they put  on a, very old bus (a 1948 Maple leaf Chevy with a outthrust bonnet) on to take us to school in Greenethorpe, but the bus also had to take the older kids to high school, the bus used to slow down to a slow crawl so we had to run beside it and jump on to it.

J E Blair